Imaginary Hyperemesis

Imaginary Symptoms...

Ever feel like you're crazy? Experiencing something no one else in the world could possibly be experiencing? That's me right now. I have been dry heaving since my son was born 3 months ago. I believe it to be related to the pregnancy, but there is little known about the mechanics of what makes a woman sick in pregnancy, and even less about the complications that can continue after giving birth. But slowly, I am learning that there are others out there that have felt the same way. This is an account of my experience with what I believe to be a postpartum version of Hyperemesis Gravidarum. As you'll see, there have been many different diagnosis along the way, and I'm still not done...

HG is a severe form of nausea/vomiting experienced by some women during pregnancy. There isn't much known about its cause at this point, but there is hope in the research being performed and the stories that are being told each day. Hopefully my account can help someone else that might be experiencing the same thing, the way that another blogger did for me. You can see her post here. Thank you Anna!

Pregnancy Story...

My story begins with my first pregnancy - it was amazing. I had the typical morning sickness for a few weeks in the first trimester, but after that I could eat my husband under the table and generally felt great. I entered into my second pregnancy 18 months later, expecting to have the same glowing, celebratory 9 month experience, but things never got good this time. I had much greater nausea and unbreakable fatigue. Toward the end of my pregnancy everyone in the house got some form of bronchitis which landed me in the ER feeling faint. They sent me home with antibiotics, but things quickly spiraled downhill from that point on. I felt dizzy, faint, sweaty, nauseous, shaky, you name it...most of the time.

Diagnosis #1...Baby on Artery

They told me the symptoms I was experiencing were just the baby pressing on my artery, and to lie on my left side...this didn't do much good. I continued to tell my OB that I felt awful, and she decided to induce me on my due date.

Induction was stressful. I spent a sleepless night in the hospital waiting for the Cervidil to do its job, then came the pitocin. My epidural also didn't take on my right side. They tried a second time on the epidural, but when that didn't work a third time was not possible because I was fully dilated. We welcomed our beautiful second son shortly thereafter. Whew! Time to start feeling better, right? Wrong. I felt all the same symptoms I was having the last month of the pregnancy...dizzy, faint, shaky, etc.

Diagnosis #2...Vague - Maybe Hypoglycemia or Fatigue

The doctors attributed my symptoms to hypoglycemia, or fatigue from the delivery. They also gave me two percocet...which I had never had before. That sent me into outer space, and all I could do was hold on to the hospital bed until the room stopped spinning. I spent the next couple days living on zofran.

Diagnosis #3...Migraine

Home from the hospital I felt awful, but in a different way than typical postpartum fatigue. The dizziness was turning to full blown vertigo and prompting panic attacks. I had a visual aura come across my eye, and a shooting pain in my neck. Of course this was on a Friday night, so I was back in the ER. They ran tests to make sure I didn't have a postpartum blood clot and sent me home with narcotics for migraine. I was so dissoriented from the vertigo, and very nauseous. Then the throwing up started. At this point I had a daily headache and I started seeing doctors for migraines. I was throwing up so often and wasn't eating, and piling migraine medicines on top of an already empty and nauseated stomach. Every time I'd call my Dr. and tell them I couldn't stop throwing up, they'd send me another migraine medicine to take. Now anybody that's had migraines before knows that the Triptan drugs for migraines are not supposed to be used more than a few times a month...I had had at least 6 or 7 triptans in one week along with a daily 'preventative' dose of nortriptyline. I would lay in bed at night feeling like my blood was on fire. I had no idea this meant they were overdosing me. True, I had a bad daily headache, but nobody was listening to the fact that the throwing up was the incessant part and continued even without the headache. Then they gave me Reglan...that made me want to come out of my skin. They finally gave me 50mg phenergan to knock me out and 'break the migraine cycle'. Well, I liked this solution because it helped to slow the vomiting.

Diagnosis #4...Ulcer

The days passed, and so did the headache, but not the vomiting. My doctors ran blood tests, and nothing showed up weird. Every morning I would get up, throw up, and take a phenergan suppository. By this time some of the heavier migraine drugs had worked their way out of my foggy head and I began to think maybe I had developed an ulcer from all these medicines. I was heading to my OBGYN for a check up anyhow and had her test me for H. Pylori, as I had read that both this and NSAID medicines are possibilities when diagnosing ulcer. I tested positive for the bacteria and she started me on a the standard antibiotic treatment for it. I've never been so excited to test positive for something, but I felt like I finally had an answer! During the two weeks of antibiotics, I felt better. Still nauseous, and had to be careful what I ate, but no daily vomiting. Then I finished the antibiotics, had another migraine, vomiting again, migraine went away but the vomiting stayed.

Diagnosis #5...Esophagitis, Gastroenteritis, and Duodenitis, & Two Hemangiomas on the Liver

Daily vomiting...This time I went to see my gastroenterologist. He promptly put me on the schedule for an endoscopy and gall bladder ultrasound. They found esophagitis, gastroenteritis, and duodenitis, but no active ulcer. Then, the ultrasound showed I had two hemangiomas on my liver, one of which was large and pressing on my gall bladder which could be the cause of the vomiting. Panic mixed with relief - another possible answer. I was admitted to the hospital for dehydration and told that I'd have to be transferred to a hospital with a liver specialist. Transferred I was, and spent the next seven days being preserved on IV fluids and anti-nausea meds while the new doctors ran all their own tests, because, of course, they can't just do surgery based on another doctors findings. I felt so desperate. I had never gone that long without eating before and didn't know it was possible. Each day I would heave repeatedly and count the minutes until my next zofran/phenergan dosage, and wait for the doctors to make their rounds and throw me a bone.

Diagnosis #6...Sludgy Gall Bladder

A second ultrasound was performed on my gall bladder and they found sludge this time. Success! There was a tangible, quickly fixable answer to my dilemma! I wanted to know how fast they could swipe that sucker outta there. They however, wanted to run just one more test...gastric emptying. They said if this came back normal, they'd have me on the schedule for surgery the next day.

Diagnosis #7...Gastroparesis

So I sucked it up and ate the radioactive egg...yummy. I managed to keep it down for the three hours required which was a miracle. Despite my success at taking the test, I apparently failed it. After staring at my hospital room wall impatiently watching the seconds tick and heaving periodically, they finally rolled in at the end of the day to tell me I had a problem with a lazy stomach and taking out my gall bladder would only complicate things. The hemangiomas were labeled an "incidental finding". It was recommended I see a GI motility doctor at Mayo clinic in Jacksonville. The doctor explained there was no cure, only management and it could've been caused by the pregnancy or a virus or who knows what. It may take a few months or a year to get better...yada yada. I was crushed. My hope to end the vomiting quickly had vanished into thin, hand sanitizer smelling hospital air. Treatment...Reglan. I protested, but they insisted I try. I spent the next day crawling out of my skin, and ready to give up on life, (still heaving by the way,) until the doctor finally made it by to tell me 'I think the Reglan's making you a little jittery'. So Erythromycin is what I was to try next. They discharged me the same day. After 8 days of no food, daily vomiting, and a million different diagnosis, they sent me home to fend for myself. I told the doctor I was scared, that I didn't know how I was supposed to feed myself...he curtly said I'd have to do what I could to survive. Wow.

Home Again...

The next day was my 34th birthday. I've never felt so lucky to be alive, but so drained and scared at the same time. I hugged my boys incessantly. I was so happy to be home, but still so confused as to how I was supposed to eat and live. The diagnosis still just didn't fit to me somehow. I was heaving throughout the week that I didn't eat a thing...how could this be a digestion problem if there's nothing to digest? I knew I had a lazy stomach...we had always joked about my inability to eat well. But this feels different...it feels like morning sickness. Before you ask...NO i'm not pregnant. Besides the fact that every doctor I've seen has tested me for this, I've haven't stopped throwing up long enough to brush my hair in the past three months, much less feel romantic.

Sunday, I prayed for God's guidance as to what to make of all this. The daily vomiting has a way of making you feel like your world is never going to be right again. It makes you question whether life is worth living. Even though there are so many blessings around you, your body feels like it's in a constant state of rejection and dissorientation. I found comfort that same day by finding Anna's blog. I know I was led there for a reason. My daily walk with God has been my only thread of sanity through this whole ordeal, and I know he will heal me when the time is right. A few of my favorite scriptures that have helped me through as I feel sick each day...Psalm 121,"I look up to the mountains - does my help come from there? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth!...," and Matthew 4:4, "People do not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.". Every time the devil would try to scare me that I was going to starve to death, that quote from Matthew would rise to my attention. And Psalms are just so comforting when you're scared out of your mind.

I will post updates here as to how all this progresses. I am looking forward to proclaiming God's healing promise soon.